My Spouse/Parent is becoming very forgetful – What Should I Do?

Posted on by

My spouse is becoming very forgetful about things that would normally be remembered. I’m worried that the cause may be Alzheimer’s disease or other dementia. What should I do?

  1. Medical Evaluation
    • Schedule an appointment with a qualified physician (ideally a neurologist or geriatric specialist) to determine the cause of your spouse’s forgetfulness.
    • Conditions like depression, vitamin deficiencies, or medication side effects can mimic dementia, so it’s important to get an accurate diagnosis.
  2. Understand Decision-Making Capabilities
    • Once a diagnosis is made, ask the doctor to assess your spouse’s cognitive abilities, particularly regarding their capacity to make decisions about their affairs.
    • Questions to ask include:
      • Can they understand the extent of their property and identify their heirs?
      • Are they capable of understanding contracts or legal documents?
      • Can they recognize and trust individuals to manage their affairs?
  3. Legal Preparation
    • If the Spouse Has Capacity:
      • Consult an elder and estate planning attorney immediately.
      • Prepare key documents such as:
        • Durable Powers of Attorney (for financial and medical matters)
        • Wills
        • Trusts (if appropriate)
      • Early action can reduce future legal and financial complications.
    • If the Spouse Lacks Capacity:
      • You may need to petition for Guardianship (personal affairs) and Conservatorship (financial affairs) in probate court.
      • This process can be costly, time-consuming, and public, so early intervention is crucial to avoid it when possible.
  4. Proactive Measures
    • If there’s no formal diagnosis yet, but you’re noticing changes, encourage open communication with your spouse about their wishes and plans while they’re still able to articulate them.
    • Even without dementia, everyone should have an updated estate plan and healthcare directive in place to prepare for unforeseen circumstances.
  5. Seek Support
    • Caregiving for someone with dementia or cognitive decline can be overwhelming. Look into support groups, caregiver resources, and community services to help manage the emotional and practical aspects.